Notes from a 25yr old semi-retired party girl

Nowadays I prefer to oontz oontz while I’m swiffering my floors

Special Friday post because I hope this content sets the tone for your weekend! And I’m fucking glad it’s Friday!

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I listen to house music on the way to work, at work, showering, exercising, and especially when I’m cleaning. I’ve found a way to bring the club to my everyday.

While I’ve stopped going out until 3/4 am every weekend and understand my limit is 1 drink per hour, I think there’s still a lot of power in carrying the party girl energy in your life.

This is me earlier this year so take everything I say about giving up partying with a grain of salt

Party girls are fun because they only care about having fun. There aren’t any consequences to their actions. They are the epitome of being present in their bodies and minds. Their zen and aura are what should be sold to you instead of paying for a sound bath.

Party girls embody rest and relaxation, similar to what meditation and yoga promise. They want their cup filled—quite literally—with cranberry juice and the $500 bottle of whatever is included in bottle service. They remind you to live your life authentically and that there’s always another after-party/post-game/kickback. Just like we need to remember tomorrow is always a new day.

Party girls know their bodies are slamming and want other people to know. Sometimes they’re dressing for the male gaze, sue them, but mostly they’re dressing to look hot as fuck and go clubbing with their other hot friends. Don’t wear your boring ass cardigan that’s age appropriate. Stop looking middle-aged if you don’t want to look middle-aged. That woman giving you the side eye at work is probably envious because you look hot. There’s always another hoe in the club that’s jealous of you. Capitalize on that power and let it rise to new heights as you soar into your highest self of looking damn good.

Party girls engage in illicit behavior without any regard for their mental or physical well-being. I’m still working out the real-life equivalent of this so maybe we gloss over this attribute.

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While I don’t particularly enjoy binge drinking anymore, which is a good thing, it doesn’t mean I’m a buzzkill. Maybe I’m not a “party girl” in the traditional sense nowadays, but I’ve shifted the same behaviors into new settings. Instead of calling out people who try to cut in line and finding clever ways to sneak in booze to festivals, I’m kicking out people sitting in our assigned seats and smuggling snacks for my friends at the movies.

My recklessness for life is alive and well. I think the best example of converging current and traditional party girl Natalie is when I blast Mau P during inappropriate situations like when I’m lying in the stirrups waiting for my Pap smear.

Now please enjoy 25 lessons I’ve learned during my traditional party-girl era:

• Being recently single in NYC for one night is never a good idea

• If they take your mace at the door either ask if you can get it back when you leave or hide it in a bush and come back

• Don’t go to the bathroom alone duh

• Don’t touch the mints/candy/deodorant in the club bathroom unless you’re ready to saddle up and tip

• Always say thank you after being handed a paper towel to dry your hands

• Do compliment other girls in the bathroom it’s nice to do and they’ll probably reciprocate the action

• Make drunk friends—This can vary from girls in the bathroom or other strangers on the dance floor

• If your friend asks to take a shot don’t say no, she wants you to say yes

• However, when you slur your first word you need to stop drinking immediately

• Wear the crazy sequin skirt/dress you’re probably not going to have another chance to wear it after 30

• Same goes for clothing that only covers you nipples, buttcrack, and vagina

• DANCE DAMMIT

• DO THE MOST RIDICULOUS DANCING ITS SO FUN

• Take pictures and then put your phone away when you’re out

• Always try and befriend a bouncer

• The minute you can afford it stop drinking shitty liquor

• Don’t do drugs

• If you do partake in recreational drugs be safe and smart, there’s no rallying back from a fentanyl overdose

• Make sure your friends know you’re leaving if you go home with someone

• Have an escape plan for the morning after if you don’t tell your friends or you’ll be hungover and confused

• If you need to vomit, always vomit

• Don’t let the person with bad music on aux

• Know when it’s time to call it

• Eat before you sleep

• Finally, never swear off your party girl era because the next thing you know you’re in a car going uptown with random French people and peeing in public

Here are some current party girl faves:

Wishing you a happy weekend!